I owe you an explanation and an apology for my disappearance over the past few days.. First and foremost, I'm so sorry to have worried you. The truth is, as much as I've absolutely loved this season, and I'm thrilled with the Final 3, I just hit my BB wall. The September 19th anniversary of my little sister's death by drunk driver always puts me in a Must Get Out place. Fortunately for us, that's usually right after BB is over for the year. I thought I could handle it this time.. 20 years later.. I was wrong.
And someone to kiss.. ..and my bike... and the gym.. and my promise to myself to lose 25 pounds DURING BB season... I hit 22 as of last Thursday's Weight Watchers weigh in, so the 3 more I have to go hit that by THIS Wednesday have been in major last chance workout mode since then...
I'm sorry to have deserted you the last couple days and to have caused you worry.
I'll be back Wednesday night for the Finale Viewing Party... Guaranteed! I hope to see you here.
♥,
C
Oh Carolyn, it never does get any easier. Here I am coming up on the 10 year anniversary of my mom's sudden departure from a car accident.
ReplyDeleteWith the 10 year approaching and my upcoming wedding, I'm dealing with a roller coaster of emotions. It sucks. So you need to do what's best for you. Don't be sorry about stepping back for a bit. 22 lbs?! Look at you go!!!! That's awesome!!! I know you'll be successful with this journey!!!!! <3
ReplyDeleteGood morning Carolyn! I will be praying for your strength, comfort and peace as you grieve the loss of your sister. 20 years or 40, that is an irreplaceable void. I'm glad you took the time to "Get Out". May your precious memories comfort you, your family and all affected by your tragic loss. Sending love and (((HUGS))) your way ♥♥♥ And thank you!!
ReplyDeleteGood morning BBDish friends...
Love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss and I understand completly. *hugs* I am glad you are alright and admit I too was worried about you. I can't wait for tomorrow night as well.
ReplyDeleteGirl - I know your pain.
ReplyDeleteI lost my 18 year old cousin who I helped raise and Sept 9th is his birthday and I always have a hard time with it. Time definitely heals the heart, but I don't think I ever want it to not hurt a little. Take a breather and thank you so much for all you do. It's my first season here, but I have loved it so much.
Remember no one can take away your sweet memories.
Carolyn...my heart goes out to you and just glad to know you are OK. Was getting a bit worried here. Know that you at love and appreciated by all of your devoted BB family. MAZELTOV on the weight loss. I've put some back on due to a bad hip Injury this year, but you have been an encouragement and inspiration for me to get moving again. thanks for all you do!
ReplyDeleteI was worried... I'm glad you are okay and got some time to enjoy your own life
ReplyDeleteThank you Carolyn for all you do to keep us informed on the goings on in the BB house. Congrats on your weight loss!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can hardly wait for next season and this one is pretty much over...insert sad face
thank you again
Young lady - We'll be fine. You take care of you. There has really been nothing to see anyway. See you next year!! 😄
ReplyDeleteThank you Carolyn for all you have done! I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Some wounds never completely heal regardless of time and they shouldn't. I'm so glad you took the chance to get out and do your thing. I can not believe that you lost 22 pounds sitting at you computer all the time! I know that you squeezed in bike rides, but that is remarkable. On CBS webpage you can see how much each of the houseguests weighed when they entered the house and left the house. Frankie gained what you lost! Haha. Well, so grateful to what you do. Thanks to what you do, I'm able to still be wife and mom during BB season and not obsessively watching the feeds :). God bless
ReplyDeleteDear, sweet Caro....I'm SO GLAD that you're ok and took some time for YOU! No one deserves it more after a very long season of serving us!!
ReplyDeleteIn honor of the upcoming holiday, I copied this greeting for you: כְּתִיבָה וַחֲתִימָה טוֹבָה I hope I got it right! :)) If not correct, I at least hope I haven't offended. Not sure if you'll make it to services or not, but I sure hope so since you're ever faithful in your observance. <3
Thank you again, Dear Goddess of the Dish (and your faithful Princess of the Dish, Miss Lessa!) for EVERYTHING this season!!! Once again, BB would NOT have been as much fun without you and all my (and Mom's) Dishy friends!
Much love to you, Lessa, and everyone, as always!! <3 <3 <3
Hugs and encouragement to you - I'm very sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for working so hard to provide this blog. I have to admit, I spend way more time on this thing than I really should. :) Much love!
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't apologize sweet Carolyn... although many of us count on your updates at least once a day - you need to take care of yourself and the time you need when it hits you most xo! I found your blog many years ago and will be back here every year as longs as the BB Gods will allow us! I will be hitting the Tip Jar this week, as I do every year to once again. Thank you, thank you, thank you - YOU ARE THE BEST!. Good luck with you diet goal and may you have a wonderful rest of the year.
ReplyDeleteOh sweet Carolyn please take care of yourself!! I am sorry this time is hard for you. I have missed you but know you needed time. Thank you for checking in and letting us know your OK.
ReplyDeletecongrats on your weight loss...huge hugs on sister's anniversary. Take care of you.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn you deserve a break. See you and the rest of the BBDish gang for the finale.
ReplyDeleteHugs Carolyn n thanks so much for everything!!! <3
ReplyDeleteKeep taking care of you. Congrats on the amazing weight loss success. Grief doesnt always cooperate with our plans.
ReplyDeletebig squishy hugs.
You do you. The decision to step away is a good one. You have given so much. Now give to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know the hurt cannot go away, so it is time to once again honor your dear little sister.
See you soon. Hugs.
Carolyn,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I'm so sorry for your loss and their are those we grieve or celebrate for our entire lifetimes and sometimes it those feelings can very year to year or day to day and that is okay. Secondly, thank you for all you do every season, you don't have to explain your absence as I think most of us have hit the same wall with this season. Besides, other than a few half amusing stories here and there, it is the same wash, rinsh and repeat convos.
This season has gone far too long and I hope the next will be much shorter. I'm glad you took some time for yourself and you have such a beautiful place to enjoy doing that in. Congrats on the weight loss! I know how much work it takes to accomplish and know you will reach your goal.
All of us dishers will be here on finale night, even if you were unable to join because of your religious holiday. Sorry, still not clear how that works for you or say Victoria and her family. I think it is insentitive for CBS to do the finale so close or during a Jewish Holy Week, I highly doubt they would do a finale on Easter Week, where we have fasting, various masses, gatherings. Etc., in my Catholic faith. That aside, I hope you found some peace and time for yourself. Thank you again for all your hard work, my mom and myself love following your site. How you do what you do is pretty incredible and takes a lot of dedication and at times I am sure tolerance!!
God Bless,
(another) Carolyn
It never gets any better when you lose someone, no matter the years, it is always there. You just learn to cover your heart with a band aid of sorts...Besides if you dont take care of yourself first you can't do anyone any good. Thank you for all you do with this site. I have been a devotee now for years...Have a great time off and relax...Jan, Texas
ReplyDeleteThanks for the season Caro.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the weightloss!!!!
You now and always, the best <3.
Hi Carolyn, words cannot express my deepest sympathy for the loss of your sister 20 years ago by a drunk driver. I totally understand your reasoning for not being around, and you well deserve the time off! The picture you posted was absolutely breathtaking! How could anyone want to miss something that beautiful by being indoors! Thank you, again, so much for all you have done for the Dishers this season! It truly has been a wonderful season after that disaster last year! My fingers and toes are crossed for a Derrick win! I look forward to Wednesday evening with you and my fellow Dishers!
ReplyDeleteCarolyn at around 2:25 am this morning the remaining three are lying on their backs in the back yard telling the backyard goodbye. It's kinda. Ute. I thought you might want to watch.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post C and so sorry to hear about the sadness you have been feeling. Congrats on dropping almost 25 lbs. That's so great! I have been an avid reader of your BB blog since last year when I was finally convinced to get into BB (live feeds and all). I check it multiple times a day. I am hoping to take part in the Live Viewing party for the finale. Thank you so much for all you do.
ReplyDeleteHey Carolyn I just saw that TVGN is having a special at 10pm eastern.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture dishchick...glad you made time for you in such a pretty place, sorry for your loss I still miss my brother everyday.
ReplyDeleteCody for the win, Donny for AF!
With a view like that, how can you stay in as long as you did!?! I just want to say, thank you for all the updates you and others have given. I am sorry for your loss. I'd like to say it gets easier, but you already know the truth in that! Take care and see ya next year! :)
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I appreciate your efforts and understand you a little bit more, thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear you are fine! I'm always hesitant to get worried when an adult disappears for a few days--at 61, I've yet to see foul play or anything that would have been prevented by throwing myself into the mix. :) Your crazy hours would be hard for anyone... it's great you get you freedom starting tomorrow night and live where you can still enjoy the outdoors! Have fun this fall and breathe some of that ocean air for me! (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteDear Goddess of the Dish
ReplyDeleteThank you for all the time and incredible effort you put into this great site. If it is any reflection upon you, you are one class act. I'm so sorry about what happened to your sister and all the pain it brings. My parent died last summer within months of each other. Both died from alzheimers. I was their caretaker. To say it was painful is an understatement but as I struggled with their loss I had one constant and that was your site. I looked forward to that one bright spot each day. So thank you for being there in my time of need. I know you are surrounded by supporters who wish you all the best and will get you through your own time of need. You've brought everyone through this season and I can't wait until next year!
xxxooxxoo
You
Carolyn, know that everyone here appreciates you and all of the time/effort that you put into running this site.
ReplyDeleteOn a personal level, I care for you and am thankful to have been able to contribute to the blog a couple of seasons ago when I was out of work.
Looking forward to moving to S Florida and having the opportunity to hang out.
Dear, sweet Caro...I'm so sorry that you're going through it regarding your sister right now! Take care of YOU - we'll be ok. I'm just glad that you're well and doing what's necessary for your sanity. :)))
ReplyDeleteOn this day, I say to you L'Shanah Tova!! Blessings to you & yours in the coming year!
THANK YOU once again for another amazing summer here on the Dish!! You & Lessa have outdone yourselves as always and it is GREATLY appreciated!!! <3 <3 <3
I'll be here for the Finale Viewing Party, but I won't post much because I'm not so good at reading comments while watching the show. Ha ha
Have a wonderful day, all, and I'll see you at 9:20 PM ET! :)))
Thanks for the marvelous picture and for just being you. You are a pleasure.
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers to you on the anniversary of the loss of your sister. Some things are impossible to get over! Thanks for all you do all season to keep us updated. I love reading the overnight report each morning!
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers to you on the anniversary of your sisters passing. Some things are impossible to get over. Thanks for all you do to keep us updated all season!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your weigh-in! Keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteThank you again for ALL that you did this season. The coverage as always was great.
Have to say I had mixed feelings about the houseguests this year. On one hand I think they all played too safe and that made it predicable. But on the other hand.. this was the first season I watched in full with my kids and they LOVED it. Watching it through their eyes made this season one of my favorites in a long time.
One last comment - was wondering if you saw this interview with Julie on ew.com: http://insidetv.ew.com/2014/09/24/julie-chen-big-brother-all-stars/
Happy finale day Carolyn! Thank you for an awesome season on the dish! :)
ReplyDeleteNo worries, Carolyn. Even dishchcks need some time for themselves.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a great season....I find myself already getting a little sad at the prospect of tomorrow's finale. I will miss you all.
Hitting the tip jar on payday....hope everyone else does, too.
Why didnt you post my comment? geez
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are okay...I admire you for knowing what your heart needs... and then doing it! :)
ReplyDeleteWe love your blog and we support you here... and at home. I'm so sorry for your loss. It never gets easier (in my opinion). Thanks again for all your hard work. See you tonight.
ReplyDeleteYou don't owe anyone an apology! It's inportant to take time for yourself especially when it comes to something so important as remembering family. Thanks for all you do for us! :)
ReplyDeleteCaro, so glad to know you are ok!! I am sure I speak for all the the dish family when I say, you are human and stuff happens!! We love you so very much and appreciate everything you have done for us over the years!!! Glad to see you back and hopefully feeling relaxed!!!
ReplyDeleteCaro, I was worried about you but understand. I lost my son in May of 2005 , he was 25 years old. He died in April ( according to coroner) April 20th ( my parents anniversary) we found out on May 4th. He was in a hotel working the ski slopes exactly where he should have been. ( it's a very long story) anyway, we found out on May 4 and his service was the day before Mothers Day. His birthday is November 3rd. So I get funky and moody many times during the year, heck, it dosent even take those dates to put me in my funk. Your sister is in my prayers. Btw, we had such a horrible, horrible crime committed last Thursday in our little rural county ( Gilchrist) some POS murdered his 28 year old daughter and 6 beautiful babies. I've been kind of over BB for a week now, but i am going to put all this madness in the world on the back burner and be very happy for the winners tonight. Thank you for a lovely year and God Bless, E. Xoxo.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the update - Will be able to see the early show (for me) on the western part of the US? Ignore my private message then!
ReplyDeleteBlessings and angels surround you, Carolyn, as you have blessed us with this place of fun (no matter how disgruntled I got when my faves were evicted, lol). I affirm your choice to step away. <3
ReplyDelete