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Friday, April 4, 2014

RIP GayTor

Good evening, sweet Dishers.  Tonight, we lost a dear member of our BB Family and a HUGE part of BBDish... Gaytor passed away today, moments before he was to marry his partner of 33 years, Danny.

Honestly, I'm still in shock.  Below is the last picture GayTor posted to facebook.  It was his and Danny's wedding venue. Here is what Danny posted:

"This is Danny Stark my love of my life John Martin passed away today just before we were to be married in Danbury Ct. The view from his last post was were he was standing when he had a massive heart attack."

"This happened just minutes before we were going to walk down the isle to get married on our 33rd anniversary Just wanted to let his friends know this."

Danny needs a hand with final expenses.  If you can give, a little or a lot, please do. Here is the link to the fund: https://fundly.com/m2/john-zsa-zsa-martin

GayTor, my friend, I was blessed to know you and better for the knowing.  You taught me to BE me, and damn the objectors. You made me laugh and laugh.  I've finally passed the period of shock and the tears are freely flowing.  Thank you for being my friend.  Thank you for being a part of BBDish...  We will all miss you SO much.



Blogger Tray said...

This is heartbreaking. :( RIP John.

April 4, 2014 at 9:58 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

RIP our dear GayTor :( My heart is so broken at this news,and Big Brother will not be the same without you :(
My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends,especially his partner Danny Stark. <3

April 4, 2014 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger Dineane said...

RIP, our friend. Much love to Danny.

April 4, 2014 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger Joni said...

:( that's awful!!! RIP GayTor I Will miss your posts. ^y^

April 4, 2014 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger Joni said...

That's awful! :( RIP GayTor. We will miss your posts! ^y^

April 4, 2014 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am in shock. Such a tragic sad time. I also feel for his partner. sometimes there are just no words. God bless them both. He will be missed far more then words on the internet. Like losing part of the family. Prayers and hugs are all I have. With a heavy heart. Love you. He won't want us to be sad. and probably looking down on us right now waiting for some humor. That said I would make sure I was in his chat room just for his amazing humor .

April 4, 2014 at 10:04 PM  
Blogger Borah said...

I just can't find the words. RIP Gaytor.

April 4, 2014 at 10:06 PM  
Blogger I 4 GIT said...

OMG...I can't believe this. It is so sad. we will miss him so much. thoughts and prayers go out to all his family & friends, especially to Danny. RIP my dear BB friend!!!!

April 4, 2014 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Danny, so sorry for your loss. GayTor was the life of the BB party. He'll be very much missed. RIP, GayTor, from Snoops....

April 4, 2014 at 10:07 PM  
Blogger Walkinthrufire said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 4, 2014 at 10:08 PM  
Blogger jeanna.snyder said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you all in your time of loss...

April 4, 2014 at 10:10 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Rest in the Paradise for which we see here. In his honor we should hash tag #WhatWouldGayTorSay for #BB16. It won't be the same without him!

April 4, 2014 at 10:13 PM  
Blogger Walkinthrufire said...

I am so saddened by this news. I met GayTor last summer in the chatroom and spent many hours chatting with him in the wee hours of the early morning. GayTor was kind and funny and I feel blessed for having known him, even for the short time that I did. My heart goes out to Danny and all who loved this special man. He will be missed.

April 4, 2014 at 10:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Will miss reading his BB post' RIP.

April 4, 2014 at 10:19 PM  
Blogger Crazy 8's (Dee) said...

Rest in peace dear GayTor. To his family and friends and to Danny, my thoughts and prayers are with you and and also to his family at this time of your loss.

April 4, 2014 at 10:25 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

RIP in peace dear GaYToR. You will be missed so much. We all looked forward fir your appearance in the comment section and could hardly wait to hear your "words of wisdom" on the HGs...BB will not be the same this year..I will miss your stories..
All the pain you went through and so happy and all you wanted was to marry Danny...well I believe it happened...enjoy Heaven you deserve it and watch over us... ;-) ;-)

April 4, 2014 at 10:26 PM  
Blogger Judy said...

so sorry to hear this. Gaytor was one of the 'good guys' in the chat room, always sticking up for the underdog. How tragic to lose your betrothed under those circumstances. My condolences to all who knew this beautiful man.

April 4, 2014 at 10:43 PM  
Blogger Michigan Man said...

R.I.P. GayTor

You will be missed so much this summer and always on BBDish and beyond. I personally will miss reading your comments from the night before. Knowing you were watching BB at the same time late at night kind of felt like we were watching together. I will miss your greetings in the morning and all your humor. It won't be the same. I feel blessed to have known you in this sad time I will remember all the good times.

My condolences to Danny and all of GayTor's friends and family. A new star shines in heaven tonight. Peace be with you.

April 4, 2014 at 10:46 PM  
Blogger johnnysjodi said...

I'm in shock. The moment I read this the tears started flowing. Gaytor brought me many laughs and I will miss him dearly. It was truly my pleasure to know you. Rest In Peace Gaytor, and know that your humor got me through many a dark time, when I didn't think it was possible and made a huge difference to so many ♥

April 4, 2014 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger TripL in Cen FL said...

Just the other day Danny and GaYtoR were were beaming when arriving at the Letterman Show and being treated to attend the Lady Gaga Show. This anniversary was to be so special by actually getting legally married.
Danny my heart breaks for you. The world has lost a super duper soul.

April 4, 2014 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger GKL1961 said...

RIP, my prayers and thoughts are with Danny and his family. He will be missed.

April 4, 2014 at 11:14 PM  
Blogger JunDishes said...

My heart hurts. Thank you for this beautiful goodbye message.

April 4, 2014 at 11:32 PM  
Blogger Debee said...

Words are not sufficient. I will truly miss GayTor. He always brought out smiles, snickers and outright laughter with his witty, and sometimes naughty (in a fun way)humor. I will miss him greatly.

My thoughts and prayers are with Danny. I can't even imagine the shock and loss he must be experiencing. Sending loving, comforting vibes from TX. <3

April 4, 2014 at 11:36 PM  
Blogger Desinie said...

RIP, GayTor! I always enjoyed reading your comments on BB. Prayers to the family. He will be missed by many for sure. xo LeftyGirl333

April 5, 2014 at 12:45 AM  
Blogger Cris said...

It's so hard for me to put into words how GaYToR's passing has made me feel. I feel grateful for having known a small piece of a fascinating man. Like many of you, I have been watching his absolute joy and happiness as he prepared to wed his beloved soulmate. I feel angry that after everything they have come thru John and Danny were denied that final victory of being legally recognized. I am just deeply saddened. His love and happiness on this day were just too much for his heart to bare.
I know he loved music so I will think of him as I listen to this song..
Shattered by Linda Ronstadt

April 5, 2014 at 1:06 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

So sorry to hear this news. I always enjoyed reading his take on things and know he was a big part of this blog. He will be missed!

April 5, 2014 at 1:10 AM  
Blogger Janice said...

I am so shocked to read about Gaytor's passing; I am speechless and shocked! Feel so bad for Danny! RIP Gaytor! You will be missed by so many!

April 5, 2014 at 1:32 AM  
Blogger danamae said...

So sad to hear this news. We will all miss GayTor's awesomeness. I always looked forward to reading his comments in your chat during BB. GayTor's humor was always on point - he made me laugh out loud more times than I can count. Makes me smile just thinking of that. My sincerest condolences to his partner Danny, his friends and family. Huge hugs, Carolyn and Dish family.

April 5, 2014 at 3:45 AM  
Blogger NikkiP44 said...

Dear GaYtoR may you truly be at peace. Danny - 33 years together is amazing! You are bonded together in spirit and love. We will miss the very witty comments from an extra special guy. Sending prayers and deepest sympathies to all.

April 5, 2014 at 4:31 AM  
Blogger ǝuoʎuɐzǝɥʇ said...

I still don't want to believe this news. I was so excited for him! I couldn't wait to hear about Letterman and Gaga and the wedding and everything! I am going to miss him so much. My heart breaks for his DQTaxiDriver.

April 5, 2014 at 4:32 AM  
Blogger ǝuoʎuɐzǝɥʇ said...

I still don't want to believe this news. I was so excited for him! I couldn't wait to hear about Letterman and Gaga and the wedding and everything! I am going to miss him so much. My heart breaks for his DQTaxiDriver.

April 5, 2014 at 4:33 AM  
Blogger Lulu (aka Stefanie) said...

There are no words, my heart is very heavy. My thoughts are with Danny and their friends and family. Sending hugs to you, Carolyn. May Gaytor RIP!

April 5, 2014 at 5:28 AM  
Blogger Spunky281 said...

I'm in tears. Words can't do justice. GayTor you will be so missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Danny and the rest of the family.

April 5, 2014 at 5:33 AM  
Blogger Spunky281 said...

I'm in tears. Words can't do justice. GayTor you will be so missed. My thoughts and prayers are with Danny and the rest of the family.

April 5, 2014 at 5:33 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am floored by this. I am so sad for the loss of his partner and family. Heartbreaking😢. His loss will be felt in the BBC community, and his input here will be missed. Every comment of his put a smile on my face.

April 5, 2014 at 6:07 AM  
Blogger MizJones602 said...

I'm in total shock. I'd just wished them well on Facebook. May he forever rest in peace. My heart goes out to Danny,his family and all touched by his loss.

April 5, 2014 at 6:23 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

What a sad day. Thoughts and Prayers for Danny and GayTor's families and friends. What a loss.

April 5, 2014 at 6:53 AM  
Blogger Edie said...

I was in shock last night when I read the news about Gaytor ! My heart breaks for Danny and his friends and family . I know I don't post on here a lot , but I am here everyday and really feel like I know everyone personally . there will deffinately be a void this summer with Gaytor gone :( ! I hope you are doing ok Carolyn, I know you guys were close . RIP Gaytor you will never be forgotten here on the Dish .

April 5, 2014 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger Maniac Rose said...

Danny, I am so sorry for your loss. Gaytor w a s such a great man! He will be missed so much at BBDish. RIP Gaytor and thanks for the many laughs.

April 5, 2014 at 7:06 AM  
Blogger Maniac Rose said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I am shocked and saddened beyond belief! RIP my friend and hugs to Danny and family. You will be so missed!

April 5, 2014 at 7:10 AM  
Blogger Old Woman said...

Just woke up to the sad news ... I too will so miss GayTor! Prayers for all who loved him. ❤️

April 5, 2014 at 7:34 AM  
Blogger Mappy said...

@Mappy52 Thank you. Less than 24 hours. Dreams do come true. Would have never imagined this 33 years ago, or even10. #MarriageEquality

So many thoughts tumbling through my head but they all end with Danny. I am praying he will feel the love for John and it will help him.

John was an amazing person who taught me so much. His humor, compassion and love of life were contagious and I will be forever grateful that he openly shared himself with us.

Be at peace John <3

April 5, 2014 at 7:46 AM  
Blogger Filis said...

So sorry to hear this sad news. He will be missed. RIP GayTor.

April 5, 2014 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger Good Times said...

So sad to hear the news. I am gonna miss you Gaytor! You are definitely going to be missed. Prayers and love to Danny and Gaytor's family. Our BB family won't be the same.

April 5, 2014 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger ala said...

RIP GayTor. You shall truly be missed.

April 5, 2014 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger lee said...

BB parties will never be the same. :( Very sad news. Thoughts and love to his family and friends.

April 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM  
Blogger amyk said...

Love, hugs and prayers to Danny. Rest easy GayTor

April 5, 2014 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger fidget said...

I am so sad to hear this ... I'm more of a reader than poster, but have always enjoyed Gaytor's posts over the past few summers.

April 5, 2014 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

GayTor was amazing. I will miss the humor and the forever abiding attitude. RIP, my friend, RIP.

April 5, 2014 at 10:39 AM  
Blogger Kristin & Anibal said...

I know that I'm not in the comment section often, however, I have been here since Season 6, I believe.

Gaytor is someone who I always remember from the comments. His witty, often sarcastic, but always entertaining posts make my day. I actually thought about him a few days ago.

I don't know him...I don't "know" any of you - but, we're a community...and when one hurts, we all hurt.

You will live on through BBDish, Gaytor! Have fun in your perfect heaven!

April 5, 2014 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Blue said...

I'm just in shock right now. How awful.

I'll write more later when I've collected my thoughts and processed the news.

Thank you for the DM, Caro.

I hope Danny is doing all right.

April 5, 2014 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Ginny said...

That is heartbreaking, I'm so sorry! RIP Gaytor

April 5, 2014 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger CarolynBBDish said...


When you're ready, there are many more missing John and wishing you well on this bbdish facebook post.

I'm so very sorry.

April 5, 2014 at 1:46 PM  
Blogger Laurie from the 770 said...

I'm gonna miss his BB insight and quick wit. Was always a pleasure reading his posts. I loved having him be a part of my BB experience.

April 5, 2014 at 4:02 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

RIP GaYToR, the world and your partner Danny have lost a very special person. You had the unique gift of being able to make us all laugh hysterically with just a word. But perhaps even more importantly you touched our souls with your thoughtful insights on so many topics. You will be dearly missed but never forgotten. My prayers go out to all your close friends and family as they struggle to face life without your earthly presence.

April 5, 2014 at 6:39 PM  
Blogger Lucky13 said...

I am having a hard time accepting this. I didn't know GayTor personally, I was not a Facebook friend... But I would have liked to be. I became acquainted with GayTor through the BBDish BlogSpot. I was instantly drawn to him. I loved his comments, his humor and his candor. A hello from him or a direct response to one of my BB comments, made me feel as if I was truly in the "In Crowd". There are so many regulars here at BBDish, that you just look forward to "seeing". For me GayTor was one. For me he was huge a part of this blog. I will miss his presence.

GayTor, may you forever rest in peace. ♥

Danny, May you be surrounded by love, be comforted and blessed with the strength to endure your loss. Allow your years of precious memories to ease the pain. I will be praying for you as well as your and GayTor's families and loved ones. ♥

April 5, 2014 at 7:19 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Our condolences to you and may Gator Rest In Peace and God be with you,

April 5, 2014 at 9:02 PM  
Blogger Shana May said...

So sorry to hear about Gaytor. It's been many years since I've participated in the comment section at bbdish, but I still read the blog every day during the regular bb season. I remember Gaytor from when I had more time to read comments. He will be missed.

April 6, 2014 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger Debrabro said...

Oh my. A loss for so many who loved him without ever having met him. Special condolences to you Carolyn as you are the one who brought him to so many of us. Very sad day indeed.

April 6, 2014 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

GayTor this is such a shock! Your spirit will stay with all of us Dishers forever! So many times I have had such great laughs with you! Your comic relief was outright contagious! You have always been the party <3.. Whenever I needed to be filled in you were always right there ready with all the answers. I am so humbled by your passing, I pray for Danny and all who loved you my friend! You will be greatly missed. XXXOOO GayTor <3 <3 <3

April 6, 2014 at 8:23 AM  
Blogger MandaMarsha said...

My thoughts and prayers are with Danny as well as their family and friends. I can only imagine how devastating it was to lose such a wonderful person and on such a day. GayTor's absence will definitely be noticed during BB16 and beyond. Although I didn't know GayTor he was always so full of love, laughter and life. I am sure that GayTor will have the heavens filled with his amazing love and laughter while he waits to be with his loving DQTaxiDriver again.

April 6, 2014 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger LandaC said...

RIP GayTor.. This is a shock. Prayers for your family.

April 6, 2014 at 8:38 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

R.I.P GayTor! The BBDish blog this season will feel weird with out his witty comments! So sorry to hear of his passing!

April 6, 2014 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Bye, Bye GaYToR, you will be so missed. Your stories, your humor, your attitude....I ...we...will miss everything. I could hardly wait until you logged on after something went down in the BB house, just to hear what you had to say. And the Laughter you brought, oh my I shall miss that. BB won't be the same without you. R.I.P. GaYToR xo


April 6, 2014 at 11:54 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh wow, Be well my friend, I will miss you. This is heart braking news.
I am so sad and my prayers go out to his friends family and his Danny.
RIP my friend Gaytor , we had some good times even if we did not always agree on things. You were a good friend. The BBdish will not be the same with out you this year.

April 6, 2014 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Shi Shi said...

This has been such a shock. Although we have never met in person I felt he was a special friend of mine. My heart is heavy. Danny, my heart goes out to you as well as all his friends on BB Dish. What a tragic thing to lose him on this special day. GayTor will be greatly missed. I always looked forward to reading his comments first thing in the morning during BB season. He had such great wit and humor that I often burst out laughing out loud and called my friend to tell them what he said. I also felt that a hello or a direct response to one of my comments made me feel special.

April 7, 2014 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger Pally said...

I hold YOU in the light and summon God’s love and comfort for you in silent prayer.

I understand how special Gaytor was to you over the years. You were a great comfort to him when he was feeling down or ill, and a wonderful inspiration for him when he was giddy and typing his fast and furious thoughts in your chat rooms and blogs.

Many nights he waited up for you when he was struggling with sleep or in pain, he wanted to make sure you’d arrive safely in the morning before he could rest his weary head.

My knowledge of your friendship is limited to what I’ve seen through this site, there’s no doubt in my mind that you two were related much more than I know and I’m feeling so very sad for you my friend.

You made a huge impact in Gaytor’s life Caro, as you do for many of us.
You are heaven-sent. God Bless You *{\O/}*

Blu…I’m so sorry love, I’m sure you’re hurting too. Can you feel the beautiful wings of Archangel Raphael holding you through …

April 8, 2014 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger CarolynBBDish said...

:'( fresh tears are flowing..

April 8, 2014 at 1:20 PM  
Blogger marye said...

I have not been watching or reading the posts for BBCanada, so I don't know what brought me here this morning. It must have been all the thoughts and prayers from all of you going out to Danny. I will miss GayTor's posts during our BB, they were always the first thing I looked for when I opened this page. I feel so bad for Danny that this is his last memory. Danny, may God bless and keep you.

April 12, 2014 at 2:42 PM  
Blogger Imissjeff said...

Wow, what a shock! I have read so many of his amazing comments on this site. RIP.

April 22, 2014 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger Imissjeff said...

What a shock! I have read so many of his amazing comments on this site. Sorry for the belated message, but it just occurred to me today to visit this site as ive just started watching bbcan2 and saw the sad news. I found him very amusing and delightful. Rest In Peace.

April 22, 2014 at 1:03 PM  
Blogger Stephanie from the West Coast said...

I hadn't seen this post as I don't go to BBDish until BB is on ...

I was following GaYToR and Danny's travel to Connecticut to get married ... it was full of whimsical notes as only GaYToR could do ... He got to see Lady Gaga at the Late Night Show then a private concert. To die right before he was going to marry the man of his dreams, he must have been in heaven already!!
He will be soooo missed ... thank you Carolyn for posting this ... much love!

June 4, 2014 at 7:15 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh WOW! I am in shock. Somehow I missed this post originally. GayTor was a joy to have here and will be terribly missed. He will be here with us in spirit though I know. RIP GayTor!!!! <#

June 19, 2014 at 6:06 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh WOW! I am in shock. Somehow I missed this post originally. GayTor was a joy to have here and will be terribly missed. He will be here with us in spirit though I know. RIP GayTor!!!! <#

June 19, 2014 at 6:07 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Oh WOW! I am in shock. Somehow I missed this post originally. GayTor was a joy to have here and will be terribly missed. He will be here with us in spirit though I know. RIP GayTor!!!! <#

June 19, 2014 at 6:07 AM  
Blogger silence and sunshine said...


June 20, 2014 at 8:20 AM  
Blogger islandgirl said...

Oh Nooooo! RIP GayTor! So sorry to hear of his passing. Wow....shocking. I was looking for him tonight....as I was catching up on the DISH and then I saw his name in and couldn't believe my eyes. Oh...My heart aches for his loved ones....and for the loss here at the BBDISH Community.
He is with us in spirit....NO DOUBT.

Heart-wrenching to hear..and especially....on his wedding day. I am so sorry for his partner.....xxx

June 29, 2014 at 1:02 AM  
Blogger AmyF said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. Being an avid bbdish reader for many years I too enjoyed his posts and consider him part of the BB experience. My thoughts and prayers to Danny and his loved ones. Rest in Peace.

July 3, 2014 at 8:23 AM  

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