Not Very Live Show

While we wait on the critters & their Have - Have Not Comp, it's Jun time!!! :) yayyy!! First time I've smiled and laughed since the drilling & hammering began at 8am this morning...

She's not just the winner of BB4... She's a dishchick! ;p

Enjoy!

by Jun Song

Ahhh, the sights and sounds of Live Eviction Night. My senses were overwhelmed last evening. But maybe that’s because I’m allergic to cats and I was hanging out with a guy I might like, and he had two cats. I almost died. Sigh. The things I do for lust.

But yeah (this is NOT “But First”), there’s always so much to take in on Thursday night episodes. Then WHY was it so hard not to fast forward last night?! The HGs looked and sounded miserable, and they were totally bringing me down! The footage CBS put together was great, but the HGs live were DEPRESSING! Was it just me? No right? Tell me someone out there agrees with me.

Nevertheless, I took this wonderful song and butchered it:

Hey there dear HGs what's it like in Studio City, I'm a thousand miles away…
But guys tonight you all look pretty, yes you do (minus Natalie), Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true

Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…What Jeff does to me

Hey there dear HGs, I know times are getting hard…But just believe me guys, someday I'll pay the bills with this here blog…We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would (without slop)…My word is good

Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…Oh it's what you do to me…What Russell does to me

And a big THANK YOU to the genius who included that “Can I touchicus?” soundbyte. Whoever it was, call me, I’d like to thank you in person. Purrrr.

My dear, dear and precious dear Jordan still makes my heart melt. I love that what you see is what you get. After watching Chima’s head spin like Linda Blair, Jordan says “That girl is sassy.” Um, wow.

I guess it depends on where you grew up, but “sassy” is not what a NYer would use to describe Chima’s display of battle with Russell. I’m just gonna leave it there, cuz I’ve fought all types of girls growing up the only Korean on the lower east side of manhattan in the 80s. I know how to handle the Chimas.

All these fights are really bad. Why would it ever be necessary (in the BB House let alone in real life) to be up in someone’s face yelling and cursing? If someone put their hands on someone I loved then I might think about it. But watching that kind of sh*t makes me uncomfortable so I can’t imagine what it’s like to sit there in person. But the thing is all the HGs are so nonchalant about it! BB has changed so much.

CHENBOT: SIGH. She looked great didn’t she? Pregnancy does suit her, she looks softer (except that nose of hers, um, darling take it easy with the work you’ve been getting done) and really happy. But what’s with them making her get up from her seat and march over to the other side of the stage? And then she does this little standing in place marching thing?! Did anyone else catch that? Bizarre! It’s so 90s! But maybe she just needed to pee.

Speaking of peeing, I was laughing so friggin’ hard watching Ronnie interrupting Jeff and Jordan’s playtime. He’s got like no tact! HAHA. I believe all Jeff wanted to do was makeout with Jordan so I don’t know why he was calling Ronnie a cockadoodledoo-blocker. I mean, my Jeff wouldn’t want more would he?! Would he?!

JESSIE: Ugh, I wish Chenbot had never asked him about being a have-not. When he speaks I get this weird feeling in my tummy like someone’s about to embarrass me. His answer was so lame and so drawn out. It’s like me saying in response to everything: “Well, I’m Korean, I can eat/do/say/have just about anything.” Blah, blah, blah, boring.

I will say though, I’m Korean and I would have taken that squid and squash and made at least a dozen different dishes. Try me.

The winner of COOP DEETOT! Oh, Coup d’Etat. Jeff, you’re not crazy. You are amazing.

Who is NOT amazing?! Natalie. Natalie’s “I never had any ill will against you…” WTF was that?! Ronnie: “And…be quiet…” was the HIGHLIGHT of my night last night. That sh*t was funny. Come on. It was. After carefully studying Natalie a bit more, I have come to the conclusion that she probably had ADD and/or other behavioral disorders throughout her life (but not ever close to being diagnosed with mild autism or anything, because I have children in my life with autism and I know how serious it is). But seriously, her weird head bobbing and inconsistencies in the diary room and in a group setting makes me think “oh, déjà vu, I’ve seen this before…”

MICHELE: Her farewell message was amazing. The poor girl always looks SO uncomfortable whenever she speaks, but her goodbye to Ronnie “Ronnie, I hate you!” was superb. She made me laugh out loud while I finished my Ben & Jerry’s.

Oh Wahhhh, Jessie didn’t win HOH. He’s such a sore loser. Did anyone find it funny when the HOH question came up and Chenbot had to say “ain’t?!” That was precious.

Sigh, Chima’s won HOH, I knew it. The only thing I could think about though was whether or not she would tie that string to the HOH key around her head at some point? Like am I missing a major fashion trend this summer? Am I supposed to be walking around with shit tied around my head? My grandma used to do that when she had a headache, but I always told her she looked like a North Korean protester.

Eenie meenie miney mo! Natalie, you need to get your ass a makeover fo sho!

PS: In lieu of a BB visual, I’ve decided to cough up some baby / childhood photos. GAYtor, are you happy? SYN, this is for you too, so you can see what beautiful children we can produce. Love you!

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