It's NOT a TU-muh! Oh, and Natalie's been Promoted

Hey Dishers!! :) I hope you're enjoying the feeds today.. and getting some rest before the Live Show!! I have a feeling it's gonna be a LONNNNGGGG night on the live feeds with the expected Endurance Comp.

Don't forget!! Big Brother Express Lunch starts at noon BBT!! NOW!!!

We'll be here with a brand new top post at 7:45pm Eastern/4:45pm BBT, in time for the Live Show Viewing Party. And in the very likely event of an endurance comp, I'll open a new top post titled, oddly enough, Endurance Comp, at the end of the live show...

Now, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for:

Jun's Blog about the Tuesday Show!

This group of HGs has officially “grown on me”. (I always think this saying makes me think "growths". Then I think about Kindergarten Cop. “It’s NOT a TUmuh!” This is how my brain functions sometimes, yest.)

But yeah, for better or worse, all of those we have come to form strong opinions about so far, well…they’ve secured a place in my heart. That place reserved for summertime Big Brother addictions.

As ridiculous and entertaining as the competitions are, and no matter the infinite number of cocktail weenie jokes going around, it’s still GAME SHOW. There’s prize money involved. You win it or you don’t. Everyone seems to be there to play the game and it’s refreshing. I’m sure in a few more weeks we’ll get people saying they want to move to LA, etc…but for now, they all are tolerably everyday people. (The first two booted seem to be most prone to “casting agent” syndrome, hmmmm…coincidence?)

This piece will probably be less raunch and more analysis. Hold on. Speaking of raunch, You know those nights where you’re thinking about what kind of porn you want to watch (i.e. mood? stamina level? taboo threshold? etc.). I don’t know if it’s because Jeff and Jordan haven’t gone trashy like other HOmances? But I find their interactions hella sexy. They have amazing chemistry but it’s subtle and reminiscent of the kind of cerebral foreplay you rarely find.

DID I JUST USE CEREBRAL IN A JORDAN-RELATED THOUGHT?! Hahaha, and it wasn’t even preceded by “non.” Jordan really is TOO cute though. I want to adopt her just so she can cheer me up without trying.

JORDAN: Poor Jordan. It really really s*cks to have to pack all your sh*t up come live eviction night. I had to do it so I’m speaking from experience. Even if you don’t think you’re going, you still have to pack ALL your sh*t. Remember when Marcellas (Season 3) hadn’t packed thinking he wasn’t going? Actually, scratch the word “remember” because I don’t think anyone reading here WOULDN’T remember, how could one not?!?! Hahaha. Anywho, yeah, he gets evicted and the thing is, he never PACKED! Hahaha.

So, howz about that conversation between Ronnie and Michele about POV? Michelle giggling the whole time and after were just awesome. Like seriously Ronnie? You have some serious desensitization going on. Speaking of desensitization…KIDDING! Hmmmm…
I need you to stay with me here for a bit, even if you disagree. Although Jessie and Natalie’s line of questioning and strategizing with each HG might be unbearable to watch, but it’s their party and they can do what they want to, do what they want to, do what they want to. Why it’s “they” and not just Jessie is really beyond me at this point. It is what it is. I just can’t wait until it’s every HG for himself and they turn on each other.

I am SO looking forward to everyone playing an individual game. This will separate the pros from the meek. How would YOU handle it?

The night of Truth or Dare was HYSTERICAL. HYSTERICAL. But only if you are on top of what’s actually going on the house.

NATALIE: She was is spot-on with calling the dares that night, and I do appreciate her streak of evil. What I DIDN’T APPRECIATE was her hosting job of the POV Competition. Her voice is…is…well, I can honestly say I’d rather hear my mom having an orgasm before having to listen to her as host again. Orgasms are natural and beautiful. Natalie’s voice is unnatural and would make a great voiceover for some of those mutant creatures from The Hills Have Eyes.

Before you get your bloomers in a bunch, just ask yourself why you find the picture of Natalie, I mean, the mutant, so offensive. Mutants need love to, the picture shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. If it does then you are shallow. Don’t take it out on me or Carolyn. Get a therapist and go talk out your feelings.

I think I need to promote Natalie here, to tumor status. She is no longer just a dangling hemorrhoid .

Casey, on the other hand, just needs an upgrade.

Dear Casey:

Please upgrade immediately and get a delayed reaction package. You can’t assume everyone is thinking like you so if you overdo anything in this loony camp, you can make things AWKWARD. Like how awwwwwkward it got when you cranky about everyone playing nice with Ronnie while making him the banana of the joke. It doesn’t matter that Russell got so defensive (guilty are we?) and pouted like the last time I did when I couldn’t make that third O happen. Take it easy Casey man.

MICHELE: Wow. She be a gambling woman eh? Her nosedive into the pig sty while collecting her POV made me snort, while laughing. But really girl?! Her “I wanted to show my worth to you” to Jessie was so horrible. She can’t lie. It’s uncomfortable to watch. It’s like that one friend in your circle that makes jokes no one laughs at and because they are nice, you just let it go and give a polite laugh. No, wait, that’s my brother’s girlfriend!

LYDIA: Her chat with Kevin about Jessie not respecting her was an honest one. But um, maybe he is disrespectful to you because, as my used to say, “You cannot giving the cow milk to the cow free you know?” Yes, my mom gets the concept but just throws in as many words as she wants. She used to say this, now she just looks at me and says “Nohh the sex this new boy okay?”

CHIMA: Looked pretty good in the piggy costume. I still stand by my theory that she was just not taking her bipolar meds the first week because she seems to be adjusting slightly better. Not that we have a very high bar to set with her, but this live show she didn’t make it on the Chenbot’s hit-list right? I reserve the right the be "nicer" to Chima as long as she's behaving. Besides, all the more fun when she freaks out again, I am drooling with anticipation.

JEFF: Out of sight out of mind. I didn’t realize how much I missed eyeing him until I saw him again. Amazing. There are parallels to my everyday life. It’s like this guy in my building I bump into randomly. When I SEE Jeff on my television screen “she” starts responding to him!!! She does! I swear! Sometimes you just can't control things.

Dear HGs and general viewing public:

Backdooring sucks, yes. But it’s a valid line of credit in game-playing. If it can happen in your bed, it can happen in the BB house…in both scenarios it does the trick.

I realized The POV Ceremony was off to a good start when they didn’t make Jordan give a veto speech. I used to hate that. Why on earth would someone on the block use the veto on anyone else but themselves?! POV ceremonies are anti-climactic anyway so I appreciated the brevity.

Poor Casey. On the block, gave those brats a Margarita Party, AND has to walk around wearing Russell’s germ-infested love muscle condom. Oh, what? It’s a banana costuuuume…oh. I’m kinda upset that it wasn’t a FULL costume.

Geez, I liked Ronnie better when he was sipping on Smirnoff and crying. Anything is better than seeing him on that inflated ego of his. Ugh, miserable.

And while we’re on the subject of miserable, this week has been MISERABLY long for me because I had to play grown-up in a major way. I’m sorry this piece is so late, and I will explain later why this week’s felt so long, but Carolyn and I have some good news!

Will Wikle from Season 5 has had his fire reignited and will be guest blogging for the Thursday Live Eviction Night! I will be down in Cape May for the rest of the week for some time away…before I have a minor meltdown. Talk to you all soon!

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