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Thursday, August 13, 2009

The House of (Black and) Blues by Jun Song

Good Morning, BB Lovers!! :) Happy Thursday & Happy Meltdown Day!!!

While I get to work on The Overnight Report™, get your laugh on with BB4 winner Jun Song's exclusive BBDish blog about the Tuesday night CBS broadcast of Big Brother 11. I'll be back with the complete Overnight™ no later than 8am BBT.

Take it away, Jun!!

by Jun Song

In response to the overwhelming response of responses regarding my Kimchi comment. For the record, I am not a “lover” of kimchi, but certainly can enjoy it 2-3 times a month. Now, I AM a lover of other things, and I get as much of that sh*t as much as I can. We can discuss offline.

I will quote my good friend Dr. Seuss (IndigoPrince, we think alike baby):


I would not, could not, in my house.
I could not, would not, with BB louse.
I will not eat it with a boy.
I will not eat it with rice or soy.
I will not eat it here or there.
I will not eat it anywhere.
I do not eat that foul kimchi.
I do not like it, Jun-I-be!

You know the house is an unstable one when before the show even begins, our narrator tells us “All Hell Broke Loose.”


Serious question. Are Chima’s boobs real? I was debating this with my little mama while watching this episode. I said no, she seemed to think yes. Verdict anyone?

I’m not gonna lie. I tried the look the ladies on the show have been rocking lately. You know. Tying string around your head across the forehead? Yeah. Um. I recently received a box of truffles (thank you Indira!) and I took the brown ribbon on the box and tied that sh*t around my head.

It was wrong. I looked like I was a rice paddy worker by day and Koreana: Warrior Princess by night.


I am all for Chima wearing a hat tho.


RUSSELL: I wish he had an on/off switch readily available to avoid all the rumbles. I can't tell if it's his strategy or he's just been lucky in getting away with his losses in temper? I mean, I know I told him I like spice, but he's burning the roof of my mouth off!



Damnit. I screwed myself. I keep picturing Russell as the mongoose. I should have never doctored that picture, it keeps popping up randomly when I’m looking at my albums. If he grows anymore facial hair, he’s gonna totally distract me from his yumminess!


MICHELE: Michele, physics? Designing and creating? WTF do those have to do with what the mongoose is asking you?! And her hosting job of the POV Competition was as awkward as most any footage that can be found of her. She’s disappointing me a bit, I thought she’d be funnier. You know, in general. I won't ask for a refund on her yet, but I'm holding onto that receipt. I know my rights!


“What’s up nutcase?” Hahahaha, Russell sure knows how to push Michele’s buttons. I’m gonna use that one! I will wait for the perfect moment in the next few days and use it. I will.


Oh good lord. This house is a crew of misery isn’t it? Have some fun, kids! Relax! They looked like tortured souls prepping for the POV competition. I mean like, really, there are worse things going on, but when you’re in that house, your woes consist of only BB sh*t.

I mean, they have no idea that Douchebag Ed screwed Jillian over. The Swine Flu Summit happened in um, Mexico. AND. Marky Mark is now a married man.

Thank goodness some chicken wire and feathers lightened the mood. Funny how the guys in the competition were much more adept with maneuvering their fingers around those little confined spaces? Not surprising though.


NATALIE: Watching Natalie fail repeatedly during the POV made me feel like I won the lottery. Not a major one. But enough to buy some Louis Vuitton luggage sets and not flinch.
Speaking of Natalie, JESSIE: It’s funny how he is so focused and all about the eye contact when it’s his agenda. But when someone’s trying to talk HIM, he is SO dismissive to the point of rude! Haha. Come on dude, at least TRY harder for strategy’s sake! You’re so easy to read.


BEST QUOTE OF THE NIGHT goes to KEVIN: “I have tiny asian hands.” Sigh. Oh the places I could go with this. Picture on my brain attached…I can’t help it! My little asian hands works wonders. I have references.


CHIMA: Her face revealed the truth during that fight with Russell. I watched the scene and thought something was off. Then Carolyn, my BB guardian angel, told me there had been some heavy editing done. Me no likey. Yes, Russell’s been pretty explosive on more than one or four occasions, but Chima’s use of “terrorist” was intentional. Own it Chima, don’t go back peddling…unless it’s off the BB set.


LYDIA: Oh, I see she went to American Apparel before heading into the house. I can’t tell if it’s the circle scarf or the hooded scarf she’s rocking. I was just in there today (and a week ago, I have a weakness for shopping in stores that attract pedophiles apparently)…and I saw it hanging on the rack. I thought about buying it. For like 12 seconds, and then didn’t.


Kevin!!! Did you REALLY not use the veto on your bff?! You are such a “poopy bear!” I told my momz and she was like “Leally?! Leally?! That’s not the nice!”


PS: I would like someone to grant my wish. I would like to be either Russell’s or Jeff’s t-shirt for a day. Preferably on a day when they’re sweating a lot.






Permalink







27 Comments:

Blogger bluex1969 said...

hehehehehe!!!

What a great way to start the day!!!

Jun, has anyone ever told you you rock?

August 13, 2009 at 4:53 AM  
Blogger Carolyn said...

G'morning, Blue!! :) I have to agree - Jun Rocks! & So Do YOU!!! Definitely a great way to start my day!!

August 13, 2009 at 5:17 AM  
Anonymous MattitudeV1oh said...

I'm with you on Jessie, Jun. When the season first started I was actually thinking that Jessie was playing a smarter game. Then we finally got a week where he or his friend wasn't in power and he went right back to the same old Jessie that doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's so transparent.

I would call him paranoid but is it really paranoia when he's right about wizarding him out of the house tonight?

Rock on, Asian Sensation!

August 13, 2009 at 5:36 AM  
Blogger JudyD said...

Good Morning Carolyn and BBDishers♥
Loved Jun's blog she had me laughing so early on her Dr.Seus jingle.She can brighten up any thing bad in that BB house.Keep up the great work Jun.Carolyn you are the best have a great live show Thursday.
JudyD ☼♥BBDish

August 13, 2009 at 5:39 AM  
Blogger Genie Sea said...

May you experience the proximity that you crave, oh celestial t-shirt! :)

Wait up! Ed did what to Jillian?

You rock the heavens Jun! :)

August 13, 2009 at 5:56 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

LOL!!! I just Love you Jun...

August 13, 2009 at 6:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jun! Wonderful as usual and a great way to start the day. ☺

Since Carolyn is still workin' on TOR, I am going back to sleep.

BBL to do proper hellos.

JulieB

August 13, 2009 at 6:24 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Good Morning Everyone..."Live Show" day...should be fun no matter what happens.
Jun thank you for the great report on Tuesday's show. I love the little hands. There is coffee all over my screen from me laughing so hard about you remark about kevin.

Hope you are better today Carolyn, and hope it is a nicer day with the dishers.

I won't be able to read your moning report as we are leaving early to go stand in line for the show. People start lining up early.

Will write when I get home.

Happy eviction day...maybe even double eviction day...ooohhh..

Pamela

August 13, 2009 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Cris said...

Good Morning and Happy Eviction Day to Everyone!!!

Another great blog, Jun. I've enjoyed them all. You are very witty and entertaining. :))


So yeah..Isn't this like the earliest wake-up call ever? Before 6:30 BB time. You know the houseguests are like WTH?

I wonder if Nat will pull the "I have the Mystery Power" roll call again during HOH lockdown? Not sure how Jeff will handle it but that kind of bullying sets my teeth on edge...almost makes me want Nat to go home before Jessie...almost.

August 13, 2009 at 6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BBDish ROCKS!!

August 13, 2009 at 6:39 AM  
Blogger Jamison said...

Good morning ladies ... and Blue!

Jun, if you're reading comments, maybe you can answer this question that keeps getting bounced around here.

I can't remember who but someone mentioned that Dick said that the only 2 things that would get you kicked off the show was physical violence and/or disrupting a live show.

Do you know if that's true? Inquiring minds...

As always...excellent post. Kevin does have some great 1 liners. My favorite is still, "can i touchicus?" :)

August 13, 2009 at 6:42 AM  
Blogger Jamison said...

So, HOH lockdown right now and I was watching the feeds on the BRB screen.

It's kind of like those pics that you have to stare at for a while to see the picture. Well, once you get it, the pic becomes clearer. I must have been staring at the tvs too long because I think that Russ is right. The HOH lockdown might be used to test cameras etc because it sure looks like non-hgs are walking around downstairs on those feeds.

I'm a dork, I know. I just think it's interesting.

August 13, 2009 at 6:51 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

Jun's so freaking dirty. It's awesome.

Reminds me of a quote from that fat-guy bachelor show -

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Or through his pants. But you should start with his stomach first, because that's what classy girls do."

August 13, 2009 at 6:52 AM  
Blogger Michigan Man said...

Jun like everyone before me said You Rock!

Koreana: Warrior Princess lol this one cracks me up since I was a huge fan of that show. Plus picturing you in that outfit GGGGGGGGGGrrrrrr :D

In Michele's defense she gets the worse edits ever. Michele's humor is not ready for prime time. Late night, back room yes, prime time, not so much.

Happy Tsunami Thursday everyone

August 13, 2009 at 6:53 AM  
Blogger knyteprincess said...

i luv jun's blog, and carolyn, ya'll are awesome here!!! thanks for keeping those of us who cant stay awake past 10pm updated! i'm off work tomorrow, and taking a nap this afternoon so i can hopefully watch the feeds light up tonight!!!!!!

August 13, 2009 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger *^*^*MsFitz*^*^*^ said...

Jun, love it! You started my day off on the right foot with lots of giggles!

Love your Dr. Seuss rhyme!

♥♥♥♥♥♥

There is a scene posted on CBS that was cut from the show. It's about Natalie & her lack of personal hygiene. You should go check it out. It is really funny & Kevin's DR is hilarious! http://bit.ly/Ufpvg

August 13, 2009 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger Jamison said...

OK, one last thing before I go to bed. Casey tweeted a link to the cbs bb forum where people had posted a bunch of HG pics (like C-Venus art). Some were really good, some gross and some just over the top mean.

The funniest one ever is a pic of Jeff (looking good) wearing a tshirt with a fist in the middle of it and it says 'Bad spellers untie!'.

Bad spellers untie. Hilarious!! I must have laughed for like 2 min.

Get it? Should be Bad Spellers Unite!

August 13, 2009 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger Stephen Ritchie said...

Haha, Kevin actually let Lydia borrow that scarf... i saw it on the feeds. And almost everything Kevin wears is from American App.

And Jun, I still need to schedule a salad bikini fitting. And maybe lessons on how to moan sexy while being the banana in a banana split, lol. ;-)

Great blog, once again!

August 13, 2009 at 7:08 AM  
Blogger HanHaysMom said...

Good A.M. Jun......what a day of suspence we are all going to have!

As usual, your blog ROCKS!!! As for the hair ties,ribbons or whatever they are, my daughter rocks them too! She can just slap one on & out the door she goes! But she's kind of a smaller, more southern, younger,less tat's version of Lydia.

As for Chima's brestage....if ya check out the roundness (mostly on the top by the cleavage) that's a dead give away that GOD didn't bless her w/those. Maybe a bunch of Benjiman's but not nature!

Ya know, my thing w/Brat is she keeps talking about what a great competator she is, ummmmm when are we gonna see it?? If anyone is a tag-a-long it's her.

Can't wait to hear you thoughts on the show tonite. I think this one can go many ways & we're just all on pins & needles till tonite!

Have a great day & hope you get your wish of being able to drap yourself over either Russell or Jeff! (me I would prefer Jeff)

August 13, 2009 at 7:25 AM  
Blogger ninjagirl said...

Good Morning Jun,(Or should I say, Koreana - Oh great Warrior Princess)

Loved your blog. I loved your take on Kevin's tiny Asian hands comment. I'm guessing the possibilities are endless. LMAO

I can't wait to hear what you have to say about tonight's "Live" show.

August 13, 2009 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger HanHaysMom said...

Oooopps! Forgive my manners. Good AM Carolyn, Genie & Blue!! A bit befuddled this a.m. cause I haven't slept good in a while so I took an ambein last nite. Always a little fuzzy headed the next day but slept like a baby!

Ed apparently has/had a GF while doing the show & after. 2 girls came forward to say they were w/him after Ed & Jill got engaged. I hope it's just mean spirited woman & not Ed being a douche. Poor Jill if it's true!

August 13, 2009 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Hoh lock down already, seems there may be something to the pre taped live show today...

August 13, 2009 at 7:33 AM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

As what Genie said "Wait up! Ed did what to Jillian? "

August 13, 2009 at 7:41 AM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Ahahahaha "Leally leally" made me laugh out loud.

You crack me up.

August 13, 2009 at 7:44 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

I remembered this time to move the morning diet cola away from the desk.

I didn't think about the cigarette in my hand.

Carolyn do you have Blogger Insurance on Jun's blogs? I read:

"Funny how the guys in the competition were much more adept with maneuvering their fingers around those little confined spaces? Not surprising though."

I laughed so hard my cigarette popped from my mouth and across the room landing on a pile of papers. The firemen said it could happen to anyone. The house isn't a total loss, but we are going to have to repaint the living room and send all our clothes out to the cleaners... smoke damage. Oh, and there is the issue of a $5,999 gown that was a total loss.

And to think little Kevin of all people won that finger twisty contest. I really want to meet this boy when he is released. Take note Syn, he bats for my team and he knows how to use his fingers... we ALL do. :-p~~

But this is about Jun and her prowess. She makes us laugh 3 times a week. More if we go back to reread (and I, for one, do.)

Maybe I'm a bit of a masochist but I look forward to your blog after every show.

I ♥ You Jun. You definitely have huge cajones which I love. I'm almost ready to ask you to marry me. It would be legal in New York but I demand my dress be prettier than yours.

^Ä^

August 13, 2009 at 7:54 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

BTW, that $6K gown was hand made with millions of rhinestones, bugle beads and sequins, and a boat load of semi precious gems.

It was hand sewn but a Korean Spitfire from the Lower East Side. the label is "House of Koreana - Oh great Warrior Princess". It's a one of a kind so replacement cost could be much much higher.

^Ä^

August 13, 2009 at 10:12 AM  
Blogger Syn928 said...

Jun, you are just as hilarious as always!

Koreana: Warrior Princess by night, eh? Now that's a look I might could get into. Thanx for the visual, lol. ;)

Please please please let us know how "What's up nutcase?" works because I know one or two people I could us it on.

♥ you long time! (Sorry, just heard it on Chelsia and Missy's show and thought it fit here)

August 13, 2009 at 12:45 PM  

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