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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Menace to BB Society by Jun Song

Good Morning, BB Lovers!! Happy Live Show Day!!

While I get crackin' on The Overnight Report™, it's time to get your laugh on with BB4 winner Jun Song's exclusive BBDish blog about the Tuesday CBS broadcast of Big Brother 11.

Enjoy!! Take it away, Jun! Sing us your song. ;p

by Jun Song

So, back in 2003, I had to fill out what seemed like an encyclopedia of an application.

When asked “What is your motto?”

I answered “What goes around really does come right back around.”

Back to present day. I still believe it. If you are a facebook user you will see my quote is "What goes around definitely comes right back around, seriously." My point? It’s woven all over the place into this blog.

Enough ConfuJunism. Onto the Tuesday night show talk.

FACT: A friendship with Chima is not worth $500K according to Michele. Is there anyone out there who will start the bid at $500K then?! Going…going…

FICTION: Chima “left” the game on her own accord.

WHAT?! Expelled? Ahem. Chima was expelled?! Yes. I see.

I love that CBS not only put it out there, but they BACKED IT UP. We ALL know that Chima’s next move would have been to say she “planned” her “voluntary departure” by throwing her microphone in the water (clear violation of contract).

So CBS shows footage from four other days during the course of the season to show this isn’t the first time Chima’s broken the rules. And apparently, they’re okay with showing that they ALLOWED her to break them? Hmmm, okay.

BTW, did you guys catch the 60 Minutes on Sunday with Chris Martin? Remember he shows us Coldplay’s list of rules and says “The rules are important”?! Sigh. He’s so smart. He totally called it, even if he didn’t know it.

Anywho, not to digress. Chima can’t say she had “planned” her exit with all her antics either. I mean, really? You went into this thinking you were going to “threaten” a broadcasting system that’s existed since 1928?! No. Exactly.

Boy was someone high on the food chain pissed off about this one. We got to see Chima finally enter the Diary Room only to be told to use the door and get the f*ck out. Ouch. Yum. That was delish.

Dear Chima,

If you wanted to go down in infamy, you could have at least had a piece of Russell and quenched all our thirsts for what that would be like. Even a morsel…a nibble, a suckle…ANYTHING. Damn you woman! You couldn’t let us live vicariously?!

This show is entertaining and all, but when you walk in that BB door you have to say buh-bye to many basic rights. I don’t think Chima is capable of this…sure for a few weeks. And I don’t see her as a “sore” loser. I think Lydia’s a sore loser. I think Chima needs more time and healing from her horrendous experience (her brutal rape).

In anticipation of writing this next blog, I re-watched last week’s episode where Chima tells us all about it. Yes, I did. It made me rethink my take on her “expulsion” from the house.

I think she needs to start talking to someone. I’m not a fan of medicating an illness at first blush, but she should to start talking to someone. Losing control during a brutal rape then regaining it to the point of having such control issues is what probably drove her to madness in this game.

I hope she’s with her family and shutting out the world. At least for a while.

What a loser. Don’t jump all over me, you are technically a loser. Loser. So glad you got some reality knocked into you. Take it and run with it. I will watch you on the next Charm School for “The Girls of Big Brother.” I promise. Take a break and we’ll see you in the fall.

FACT: 99% of the loudspeaker messages in the BB house are recorded. This is, as my mom would call it, a “neh-suss-suh-rhee” (necessary) evil. There’s no human that would be able to repeat “Chima, please put on your microphone” in a steady tone of voice with all her antics. (Btw, there is no “v” in Korean so my mom also butchers “evil.” Ah, what fun.)

FICTION: Allison Grodner does not have tons of free time (therefore, the fact that she had to take time out of her full life to come talk to Chima is, as Kevin would say, REdonkulous!!

FACT: Team Spunk has lost all sense of reality. Or they’ve got Early-Onset Alzheimer’s (relax, my grandpops is a sufferer). Um, the roles are merely reversed and they can’t seem to handle the pain! Kevin is so sad. He makes me sad too because it’s so genuine. I would be sad if my chances at being in a majority group died. Chima totally screwed them.

FICTION: Team Spunk has the potential to come back and redeem themselves. Oh, and Chima did a great job representing strong women.

I wanted to throw something at my television watching that Natalie / Lydia / Kevin Debate of Big Brother 2009. It was entertaining to watch, but I felt like I was wasting precious seconds of my life that I could have used to make money.

NATALIE: I hope Natalie goes home and watches every second of footage of herself. Even if she doesn’t learn a major lesson, perhaps she’ll learn something. During the house meeting, she had the nerve to look PISSED that she was being taken off the block?! And then this creepy crawly smile found it’s way to her face. Oh, so after learning there’s an HOH and Michele can’t compete you’re all smiley smiles? Blech.

Poor Michele, her power and privileges were short-lived but at least she got “rid” of Chima right?

And I suppose, according to Natalie’s theory, this is where Michele is supposed to break all the rules and it be okay?

HOH Competition aka JEFF time: Um, Jeff looked delicious in his golf gear. He looked like a cajun ribeye with the bone in it. I always like working that bone to make sure I got the meat. NEVER leave protein unfinished.

As homage to my last blog…and to the 90 degree weather we’ve been having here in NY, I have transformed Jeff into a yummy popsicle. I will be taking orders soon, so you will have to act fast!

This man’s got skillz! Holes-in-one all over the place! I want Jeff to score my hole-in-one. He is F*CKING amazing. And most people might thing his “K-town!” was meant for Kevin, but it was actually meant for me. Koreatown!

OMG, AND he’s an ass-smacker! HELLO! I want one NOW, I don’t care how much shipping and delivery is. I know a good deal when I see one, and Jeff is it.

FACT: I am way into both Jeff and Russell.

FICTION: I want to MARRY both Jeff and Russell. No, no, no. On the contrary, I want Jeff to be my baby daddy / hubby and I want Russell to be my trainer / bodyguard / cabana boy / wrestling coach.

I am having images of Jordan joining in on my fun too…but I would probably gag her to start.

Um, LYDIA: Claiming America handed Jeff Coup de Crap power was kinda funny, but only long enough for me to swallow. This girl’s got lower tolerance for alcohol than I do, or she has a drinking problem. I wonder which CBS wants us to believe. Those must have been some potent mimosas because girlfriend got BELLIGERENT!

And I, for one, was happy she got the Super Hero Unitard. I think she is the only one left in the house who could rock it as an outfit and not as a costume!

WTF happened during that HOH Competition? I was possessed by Cruella, she was possessed by Chima!

JORDAN: Poor baby Jordan got bullied by Lydia big time! She was called, EGADS, a “ho-puppet!” I mean, I get it. Lydia said Jordan’s a “ho” and she’s Jeff and Russell “puppet” therefore the math tell us that she’s a “ho-puppet.”

The important thing here is whether this alleged ho-puppet is a marionette or a muppet.

Because to me, a ho who’s a puppet is more a finger puppet than anything else. Then hell, I’m guilty too! Insert fingers and add vocals right? Haven’t we all been ho-puppets then? I know I enjoy being one.

Holy Volatility! Post-HOH Competition was insane! Michele was awesome, and for the first time she seemed alive!

I needed a diaper-change after Jeff yelled at Lydia to “Get comfortable. You ain’t going nowhere.” All he needed to do was yank out handcuffs from his back pocket and I would have put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign up on my door. As a matter of fact, I am going to look for fresh batteries now in preparation for the Live Show. Come on Jeff, do it for mama.



Blogger kevin said...


On a serious note; Chima control issues: a VERY salient point.

"Team Spunk" You had me ROOLLING with that one. great job!

August 20, 2009 at 5:43 AM  
Blogger Wrestlemom said...

I, too, loved the way CBS/AGP handled the whole Chima leaving deal. Chima could claim that she choose to leave on her own since she did say more then once that she wanted to walk instead of letting 'them' vote her out. She did choose her actions which she knew were against the rules therefore choosing to walk out by doing those actions. However CBS/AGP also showed that she said she would not go to the DR because she knew if she did they would kick her off the show. So her refusing to go to the DR sooo many times was her NOT wanting to really walk. She just wanted to sound like she was bad 'butt.' Then to show us her entering the DR and starting to sit and being told not to....seals the deal that she was ejected. Congrats BB!!!!

August 20, 2009 at 5:58 AM  
Blogger GeneNash_com said...

Boy was someone high on the food chain pissed off about this one.

Hmmm, Les still PO'd about Chima's live show quoting of Braden on Julie?

(Yes, here in blog world I'm on a 1st name basis with all of them. :p )

Another previous houseguest blogged he hoped Chima wouldn't read any of the Internet opinions of her, but I hope she does. She is clearly delusion and seems to see herself as an innocent victim in all this. Perhaps reading the general opinion of her could snap her into some desperately needed therapy. Whatever "help" she's gotten (or is getting) so far hasn't been enough.

It's sad.

August 20, 2009 at 6:15 AM  
Blogger patti said...

Morning Jun,

I'd like one of the Jeffsicles please and am totally digging the placement of the popsicle stick.

Wait'll Gaytor sees. Just sayin'

Please Jun, direct us to your blog? Love ya!!! xoxo

August 20, 2009 at 6:21 AM  
Blogger Kent.in.NYC said...

I'd like 10 Jeff Popsicles please!!!

August 20, 2009 at 6:42 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Do I dare read yet? I haven't been medicated for the day. Of course reading this may make me not need it.


August 20, 2009 at 6:43 AM  
Blogger wendy2 said...

Good Morning dishers!
Gosh, i just love Jun's blogs!
i dont know, last night i didnt think lydia was "cute" and "funny" when she was hoarding the tie-dye. i thought she was being childish, bossy and selfish. if i had been there in jeff's shoes, i KNOW i wouldnt have had the patience he did. i would have SNAPPED! i wanted to reach through that screen and slap her upside the head!
Michelle is driving me crazy, re: trying to turn j/j against russel. how in the world does that help her in the game? to lessen their numbers? unless she has some super secret alliance with natalie, kevin and lydia...wtf?
i really like her and felt so sorry for her last night alone in the have-not room. i also am bi-polar and KNOW just exactly how she was feeling, but i still dont understand her logic. she's a very smart woman, so what the heck is her plan? up until her recent attempt to out russel, i was rooting for her (after jeff and jordan of course), but i cant keep this up much longer in the face of her idiocy. ah geez....
HIIIII GaYToR.....muah! ;)

August 20, 2009 at 6:44 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

OMG Jun, I will never build up an immunity to your Blog and I'll always look forward to catching it again every time it happens. Today I was smart. I put a bib on my keyboard after I removed all objects of destruction from my desk and put away the ashtray and the always sitting to my right cold refreshing beverage.

HOH Competition aka JEFF time: Um, Jeff looked delicious in his golf gear. He looked like a cajun ribeye with the bone in it. I always like working that bone to make sure I got the meat. NEVER leave protein unfinished.

Step away from the Jeff, GF! We gonna fight (but I bet you would win.)

I always buy bone-in ribeyes, and I love me some Cajuns. Soooo spicy! (And the steaks ain't bad either.)

Usually I give our dog, Oscar, the bone but when I get the Jeff steak, I too will be sucking that bone dry. There won't even be a drop of marrow left.

OK, he can be your baby daddy. I just want to make puppies with him... WOOF!

That handcuff remark... I never thought Jun Song would give me a boner!

Have you kept the bouquet fresh? I could send you a copy of my Memory Book. Actually it's online somewhere but I have no idea now where I posted it now.

Love you more every Blog!


August 20, 2009 at 7:11 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Oh, Patti's post reminded me. I want to pre-order 4 cases of Jeffsicles.... per month!

Hope your production facilities can handle the 'massive' orders you will be receiving.


August 20, 2009 at 7:14 AM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

HAHA Patti I made my last post before I even finished reading the end of yours.

Just sayin' was spot on. Am I that obvious? No need to answer.


August 20, 2009 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger David B said...

well given the ratings boost maybe Chima did BB a favour! It sealed the deal for BB12 I'm sure.

August 20, 2009 at 7:19 AM  
Blogger kevin said...


Michele, when confronted w details of the LML, was told BY JEFF that he overheard it, & since she "doesnt remember" things in detail (which I believe) she just automatically sided w Jeff's statements of "the facts."

I think this explains her inconsistencies, her own team is feeding her misleading info, while she is trying to show them Final 3 loyalty. It's all a mindf*ck & I think I would crack up a little if I was in that Loony Bin.

August 20, 2009 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Good Morning Carolyn,

Good Morning Genie Sea,

Good Morning Jun,

Good morning all dishers,

Finally Thursday has arrived and I can hardly wait to see what happens along with all you.

Jun, Jun, Jun, another great post. I love how you say what is on all our minds about our BB guest. Oh by the way I will order 1 dozen Jeffcicles, all cherry.

You all do such a great job, and I am so glad so many chicks and chucks are finding their way home to you.

Now I am going to read the overnight post.

Have a fun day watching the feeds and reading Carolyn's post.


August 20, 2009 at 7:38 AM  
Blogger Duane said...

Easy Jun!
Time for a cold shower!

August 20, 2009 at 8:08 AM  
Blogger PKD said...

Dood, that was freakin hilarious! Thanks!!!

August 20, 2009 at 8:26 AM  
Blogger bluex1969 said...

Jun, You Krazy Korean You!!! You so funny!!


Thanks for another great laugh!!

August 20, 2009 at 9:07 AM  
Blogger jluvsturtles said...

Jun Bug, you are absolutely freakin GENIUS!!! When the heck are you going to write a book???
p.s. I saw where you told me we were in a parallel universe, I love you, girl, you are such an amazing person, and I would so love to come see you in your city!


Hello, Carolyn and Friends, I was able to jump on real quick, and I cannot read this blog without saying my hellos and thank yous!
xoxoxoxo LOVE to you ALL!!! My computer still down but I do have this ancient one for desperate times, and I'm desperate to know what's going on with the Dish!! Can't wait for tonite's show!!!! I miss everyone immensely! ;-)

August 20, 2009 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger Jun BB4 said...

Haha. I just started writing and I came up with a novel this time eh?! Hahaha. Cold shower indeed. Mama cleared her boy toy roster for the summer to "detox" and damn if I'm not hankering for some boy. Sigh. I will just have to save myself for Syn. Where oh where are you Syn?! I called you twice last night for some phone sex Alabama style!!

August 20, 2009 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Coco Channel said...

"This girl’s got lower tolerance for alcohol than I do, or she has a drinking problem. I wonder which CBS wants us to believe. Those must have been some potent mimosas because girlfriend got BELLIGERENT!"

It looked like she drank two whole bottles of champagne alone during that competition. No wonder she got so belligerent.

August 20, 2009 at 11:39 AM  
Blogger Syn928 said...

Hiya Jun!


Great blog as always. Love all your commentary on everything, especially the Fact or Fiction.

One question though.

I see you used Jeff's head on that popsicle, but where did you get a popsicle mold of my body?!?!? lmao

In the words of Jordan, who I would so keep company in your little fantasy while you had your way with Jeff, I L-U-V Ya!

August 20, 2009 at 12:49 PM  
Blogger kim said...

*Boy was someone high on the food chain pissed off about this one. We got to see Chima finally enter the Diary Room only to be told to use the door and get the f*ck out. Ouch. Yum. That was delish.*

I love it!!!
Coup dEtat being used and Chima getting owned by BB makes me love this season! =)

August 20, 2009 at 1:45 PM  

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